Candor is Kind. Kind is Candor.
- Tiffany Calvert
- Oct 18
- 2 min read
The scenario: You are networking and meeting a new person 121 (that's networking lingo for meeting one-to-one). You notice that your new friend has lettuce on their teeth....like a big, dark green, piece of lettuce.
What do you do?
Avoid eye contact for the rest of the meeting
Start praying that they check their teeth in the bathroom sooner rather than later
Wait for a good time to interject and tell them
OF COURSE #3 is the best choice and the ONLY choice. Why? You are there to build a relationship, aren't you? And EVERYONE has had a "lettuce on the teeth" moment and appreciated the person that cared enough to tell them. Many of us would rather avoid our own personal discomfort than help.
Candor is Kind. Kind is Candor
Candor. The quality of being open, honest and straightforward in expression...especially when discussing sensitive or difficult topics.
In essence: Candor is telling the truth with respect. Being clear, not cruel.
Kind. The quality of having or showing a friendly, generous, and considerate nature. Treating others with care and compassion.
In essence: Kind is delivering truth that preserves dignity.
We often treat candor and kindness as opposites. One feels bold. The other feels gentle. But in truth, they are two sides of the same relationship coin.
Candor without kindness can feel like criticism. Kindness without candor can feel like avoidance.
Neither candor or kindness builds trust without the other.
True candor is an act of kindness: it says, I care enough to tell you the truth. It means you respect the relationship too much to let them stay unaware or misaligned. It’s giving feedback with the intention to help, not to hurt.
And true kindness is candid: it honors others by being clear, not vague. It refuses to let politeness become dishonesty. It helps people see what’s real so they can grow, improve, and succeed. [And reminds them to check their teeth before meeting with others!]
When we practice candor with kindness, conversations shift. Feedback becomes partnership. Accountability feels supportive, not punitive. People trust each other enough to say what needs to be said. And we become willing to hear it.
So the next time you hesitate to speak up, remember: Candor is kind. Kind is candor. Say what needs to be said with respect, with empathy, and with the belief that the person in front of you is worth the truth.
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